The Bachelorette Week 3 Recap: Goodbye, #WhaBlake

Goodbye, Whaboom. We hardly knew ya. Well, that’s not entirely true. That’s not even, like, a little bit true. We actually knew you too much. The obscene amount of knowledge that we have currently consumed about Lucas remains, to this day, a waste of brain. This feels like as good a time as any to…

Why Doesn’t Anyone Give A Single Crap About Jason Derulo?

I swear, you could walk up to 100 random people and ask them, “Who is Jason Derulo?” and at least five of them would answer, “Is that some sort of disease?!” The other 95 would simply shrug their shoulders and walk away from the strange man asking them odd, random questions about men they don’t…

All of The Rock’s Movies, Ranked

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is an unapologetic powerhouse. Usually when a man refers to himself as “Franchise viagra,” I would audibly scoff and start cultivating a tweet with enough shade to collapse the sunscreen industry. However, in Dwayne Johnson’s case, the numbers simply speak for themselves. His movies have grossed a stupid amount of money. $2,274,834,878 to…

The Fast and the Furious Movies, Ranked

When The Fast and the Furious first reached theaters all the way back in 2001, no one could have expected what would become of it. This wretched and deformed caterpillar defied all odds and somehow blossomed into a testosterone-soaked butterfly on the shoulders of muscle tees and nitrous oxide systems. The film received mixed reviews, but earned…